I looked at the charges made against me and was overcome by a sense of sheer panic.$1000 worthof damage was caused to the hut.I was still suffering from a hangover but by jesus did I sober up very quickly, as I knew from my experiences in Atlanta and Chicago that I was looking at a minimum of a six month sentence.Panic, bewilderment and total utter disbelief gripped me.I didn’t know what to do.If I pleaded guilty ? The judge might take a more lenient attitude towards me, perhaps I might even avoid prison, since I was working and could pay of the fine gradually.If I pleaded not guilty ? I would be looking at the next court date, which could be a month or two from now, which meant I would have to post bail, money which I hadn’t got in any event, consequently that option also meant prison time.

Continued :

We were eventually all lined up to appear individually on tv court, and by the time that my turn came I was still in a highly agitated, frenzied, distraught state.What sould I say ? .... Should I say that instead of this ? .... Maybe say more about this and less about that ? .... Perhaps explain this instead of that ? .... What can I do ? .... What can I say ? .... Should I be nice, should I be truthful, should I lie ? ...' Jesus why is this happening ?.Auspiciously, all that the judge asked me was my name and if I was working, to which I replied “ mr so and so and yes that I was working for the American Diner at Panama City Beech ”.That was it, all over in less than fifteen seconds, without any judgement having being passed.

We were all brought back and put into a cell, awaiting to be told what are punishments were.I crouched down on the cell floor with my back touching the wall, bending down towards my knees, with my hands upon my head, and was seized by an overwhelming fit of anxiety, wondering how it had ever come to this, tortured by the prospect of being wrongly incarcerated again, fearful for the loss of yet another chapter of my life, anxious by the thought of how I was going to get through it, and feeling o so very alone, so very confused, so isolated and o so very betrayed.